Saturday, November 14, 2009
{ 10:48 PM }
Had a fun time meeting up with maggie and jesse, took some photos and sticky photos. Going to miss you guys when i'm back in sg.
Time flies, soon it'll be graduation and back home. Not exactly something to rejoice about i guess. but time to stop running away and start growing up and moving on.
Anyway spoke to mom, dad and 4th aunt just now. Quite glad that daddy seems to support my ideals instead of berating me for having another one of my whimsical idea. 4th aunt was cute as usual, but regarding wedding bells, let's just say it's still way too early lol.
Packing is such a chore, never knew i had so much stuff (maybe i did =p) lol.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
{ 1:58 AM }
I know it's kinda random, and in the middle of the night but i felt like blogging and so there. Was supposed to start my readings for Wed's paper but i think i enjoyed my time better with some girl talk with my darling and some night cap at unit 11.
3 more exams and i'd have graduated. For some reason I'm not looking forward to it. It's not about going into the work force. I've been working since I graduated from Sec 4. Part time jobs mostly but at least i'm still generating some sort of income.
The other day as I walked down the steps of school for my last lesson, a sudden tinge just came to heart. You know, I'd really miss this place. It's a really bitter sweet feeling for me. Presently, more bitter than sweet.
Of course to all of you back home (if anyone even still reads my blog) I still want to go back to catch up with you guys. I miss the food, the convenience of transport and having friends and family around.
However, do understand. Australia has been where my home was the past 2 years. Even more so this year where I get to stay with my brother and my darling. A kitchen of my dreams (of some sort). The joy of having my first car (albeit a short while, but it was good while it lasted). The feeling of "my own home". Not in the sense of sg not being my home, but in the sense of a home where I'm responsible for my own actions. The choices I have to make without the watchful eyes of my ever so loving parents. Where I have to suffer the consequences, to manage expenses to ensure we can feed our family of 3, to have dinner as a family as much as possible, the chance of travelling during the long winter and summer breaks, the choice of freedom (till possibly the night before a submission or exam is due).
It is a whole new experience and lifestyle here. Where people greet bus conductors when they get on and off the bus, where you'd definately find some topic to talk to the cab drivers (how was your night? busy?), where sales assistant are such a joy to talk to when you're in a chatty mood and yet when you plan to just shop around alone, they respect your space. The queuing up of transport, the integrity of people, the random strangers just coming up to talk to you, the dressing of those clubbing in formal dresses or crazy outfits during events, the group of friends just meeting at someone's place to have dinner together, the thrills at the casino, the opportunities i had to explore my baking skills, the possibility of buying items such as candles to decorate our house, having a proper conversation entirely in english, no singlish, no chinese.
You know what I fear most about going back is the stereotyping. Sterotyping singaporeans to be a bunch of anal people. Where queueing up for buses doesnt matter - people stilll squeeze before you, the lack of space at mrt doors although it's pretty much clear in between - surely it's not a landmind?, the chances of people stepping on my thongs while getting off the mrt, the strong accent of singlish, the people squeezing and jostling - only thinking of themselves, the lack of smiles or "hi, how's your day" at retail stores, the hoovering sales assistant who doesnt seem to understand that you just want to browse alone, the lack of smiles at restaurants, the seemingly swarm of people especially at orchard on a weekend, the way cars don't seem to give way to you.
Don't judge me as if I look down on Singapore. If any, it is still where I consider home after everything. It is where I know I belong. I love Singapore, but if only we could be just a bit more considerate to each other. After so many times, the initial culture shock will definately be there. But just give me time, give me space (literally and figuatively) I believe I would adapt. Hopefully this time, instead of becoming one of those I cant stand, maybe I can make a difference. Every change has to start some where and it's never too late to try.
